Noah Elliot Benson
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: Five years after Elliot leaves. He sees Olivia in a doctor's office. He meets baby Noah. EO shipping.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know it's been quite a while since I've written an FF. I apologise for that but I've changed my life and other priorities have been put in first place. In the meantime, I've been watching re-runs of SVU lately and I had the urge to write another EO shipping. I don't know if it's been done before. Here goes nothing...**

**This is set in season 17. Elliot's point of view.**

I glanced around the room, looking at all the other parents, huddled together in those uncomfortable plastic chairs, nursing their sick kids and waiting to be seen by the doctor on duty. The last place I expected to see Olivia Benson was in a doctor's waiting room. She was nursing a child, a boy I think, a look of love and affection filled every line in her beautiful face as she looked down at him. She didn't see me straight away, which gave me a few moments to prepare myself.

I had forgotten how beautiful she was and how my heart ached at the time that had passed between us, without a word. It had been a painful five years without her. Every year that passed, made me hate myself more and more, because I didn't pick up the phone and tell her the truth. I didn't know what to say to her then and I don't know what to say to her now.

It was nice to see Olivia with a baby in her arms. It was well deserved and it suited her perfectly. I always knew she was born to be a mother, and finally she had her wish. She gently stroked the child's face with her finger. He was beautiful. Just like her.

My heart jumped into my throat when she looked up, a moment of shock and surprise and then nothing. Her face was blank. I used to be able to read her so well. Our communication had always been impeccable. She knew when to talk and when to shut up, when to push and when to pull, it was as if we shared one of the same mind. Kathy had tried for years to be the other half of me, but the more she tried, the more she failed. I couldn't stand it when she hovered over me. Olivia had always known when I needed my space.

But now as I looked across the room, our eyes locked on each other, I regrettably admitted that things were not the same. I could no longer read her mind and know what she was thinking. My heart hurt. Why had I walked away without a word? Olivia had deserved to know, she had put up with me for twelve long years, more than anyone else who partnered together in the precinct that we committed to.

I watched her stare at her child. I was happy for her, but along with happiness came a bitter taste on my tongue. Five years was a long time. A woman as beautiful as her was probably married by now, to a man who knew her well, who put up with her crazy work hours, who understood her ambitious drive of locking away perps and speaking out for the victims. Unless like me, she was too busy with motherhood.

Olivia looked back at me, as if she were trying to figure out if I was indeed there.

I smiled, or at least I tried to. I'm sure it came out more like a grimace than anything. "Hi," I said quietly.

Olivia mutely nodded in reply.

My eight year old son, Eli, sat beside me too sick to notice what was going on around him. I knew he had a common flu and bed rest and fluids were his best bet, but I liked to be on the safe side. This young boy was my last child. I knew I would never have another. Eli was my whole life now. "Liv..." the familiar name sounded foreign on my tongue. It had been a long time since I'd uttered that name out loud, but it was only that morning that I had thought about her. A day would not pass by without picturing her face and wondering how she was going without me.

I remembered the months I had spent without her, partnered with Dani Beck, my days had been dark then and were even darker now. It didn't take a genius to figure out that I was nobody without Olivia Benson. I didn't function the same way. I was not alive by the same measure as I was when I spent my days and nights with her, solving crimes and chasing perps.

Olivia's eyes closed at the mention of her name. I was desperate to know what she was thinking.

"Hi, El."

Now it was my turn to close my eyes. The memories of our time together washed over me like a tidal wave. It was as if I had gained my forgotten memory in a single second. It was overwhelming. Did I affect her the same way that she affected me?

"Hi." I got up from my chair to move closer to her. I didn't want to have a conversation with her across the room. Eli got up and followed me, sitting down close beside me as if we were joined at the hip.

Olivia smiled and extended her hand to him. "Hi. I bet your Eli. You probably don't remember me. I knew you when you were really little."

"I know who you are," he replied.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"My dad has a picture of you in his room. I see it all the time."

I watched her face, trying to gauge a reaction. She refused to look at me directly and kept her gaze on Eli. "Your dad and I used to work together. We were best friends." I thought I heard something in her tone of voice. Resentment? Anger? Mixed with something else... sadness perhaps.

Finally, she looked up at me.

"How are you?" I asked, unable to keep silent.

"I'm good. You?"

"Good." I lied. I wasn't good. I was miserable. I regretted walking away from my job. I regretted shooting that girl. I regretted not picking up a phone. I desperately wanted to change the subject. I wanted to ask her about her life. I wanted to know everything about the last five years, every moment of her life that I had missed. I hesitated. Maybe I hadn't earned that right. "You have a kid," I said with a nod towards the child.

"Yeah. Noah."

"He's cute. Looks like you."

Olivia laughed.

"You married?" The moment the words left my mouth I wished I could take them back. The look on her face was answer enough. It was none of my business.

"How's Kathy?" she asked, the words sounding bitter on her tongue.

"I don't know. I haven't seen her in two years."

Olivia blushed with embarrassment. "Oh." I didn't know if she was relieved to hear that or surprised.

Kathy and I had our fair share of problems over the years. I wasn't a good husband for a long time. My job had always been more important to me than anything else, but I had come to realise that it had nothing to do with crime and everything to do with my partner. It wasn't the job I missed. It was Olivia. But I poured everything I had into my marriage when I walked away from SVU. It was Kathy who had dumped the twins and Eli on me and fled. The other kids had grown up and moved out of home by then, Maureen was married with a child of her own.

I was now the stay-at-home parent.

I thought about calling Olivia every day, but something always stopped me. Now I knew why. She was married with a child of her own.

"Noah Elliot Benson!"

Olivia snapped her head around to look at the doctor who had just called out the name.

It took a moment to realise that my name had been said. MY NAME. Olivia had to have thought about me, if her child's middle name was mine. I watched intently and for the first time in five years I could read the expression on her face. I smiled.

"I have to go," she said, clearly uncomfortable.

"Ok."

Olivia rose from the chair, baby Noah in her arms. She took one final look at me and without a word she turned and followed the doctor down the hallway. I watched her disappear into the doctor's office and the door shut closed behind them.

Maybe there was hope for us yet.

**A/N: I don't know if this is a one-shot or not. I guess I'll have to wait and see what you guys want. Hit the review button and let me know. Hope you enjoyed the read.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: WOW! Thanks for the response guys, I really appreciate it. You reminded me why I wrote FF in the first place. **

**This chapter is from Olivia's point of view. **

I looked down at my sick child. Noah was the only man in my life, and though I still missed the intensity of my old partnership, I was happy. Noah gave me a reason to live outside of work. He gave me a reason to keep the streets clean and to want to make the world a better place. It was for him that I lived now.

I felt someone's eyes on me and looked up to see the face of Elliot Stabler. It was no surprise that he was across the room from me. I saw him so often in my dreams that sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. For the last five years his face emerged everywhere, anytime, when stress was a factor in my life. But there was something about the way he looked at me, that made me question the reality of the situation.

I noticed a child beside him, eight years old perhaps. Eli Stabler. His youngest child. Memories of a car accident I had with Kathy eight years earlier flooded my mind. I thought Kathy was going to lose her child, as she sat in the passenger's seat of the mangled car, Eli's labour on the way. A memory of the aftermath in the hospital, brought me to a picture of Elliot and I in the hallway. I remember the way I felt when he held me in his arms, grateful that I had saved his wife and child. I had never been held that close before, not by anyone, and I ached for more.

Elliot was married, happily with five children, I was nothing more to him than his partner in crime.

As our eyes locked together, I noticed a look of melancholy etched across his face. I could still read him like an open book and I relished in the fact that some things never changed. He was somehow still the same man that had left me without a word. I should have been angry, ropable, I should have blamed him for all the things that had gone wrong since his absence, but I didn't. I understood his need to leave after shooting that girl. I knew it wasn't about me. It was about his own guilt. His own regret.

I looked back down at Noah, lying awake, staring up at me. This fragile little life in my hands. I had never felt as much joy in my life as I did with baby Noah. I was blessed looking after him, loving him, and I knew for certain that I would never take him for granted.

My gaze moved back to Elliot and when I saw him staring at me, I knew he was not a figment of my imagination. He was indeed there.

Elliot smiled, it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hi," he said quietly.

I nodded, the words unable to form on my tongue. I couldn't speak. I wanted to, but somehow my mind kept the thoughts inside my head.

"Liv..."

I closed my eyes. No one else said my name the way that he did.

I remembered the weeks I had been undercover and Elliot had been partnered with Dani Beck. Even thinking of the name made me wince. I hated her. I didn't want to and I knew it was immature and irrational but I couldn't help it. I saw the way he hovered over in by his desk. He never hovered near me. I was careful to keep my distance, afraid that if I got too close, I wouldn't be able to help myself from doing something foolish.

I opened my eyes, willing myself to talk. "Hi, El."

I watched him close his eyes for a moment and then uttered a greeting. "Hi." I watched him get up from the chair and move closer to me, his son following suit.

Nervously, I tightened my grip on Noah as if he could protect me from my own emotions. It had been a long time since I'd felt so nervous, the caged butterflies trying to make their way outside my stomach. He was as sexy as he always was, walking across the room as if he owned the place, completely oblivious to the affect he had people, the effect he had on me.

The two sat down and I kept my eyes focussed on the boy. I extended my hand to him. "Hi. I bet your Eli. You probably don't remember me. I knew you when you were really little."

"I know who you are," he answered.

I raised an eyebrow. How did he know me? He was so young the last time I had seen him. Curiosity got the better of me. "Yeah?" I was fishing for something more. A reason.

"My dad has a picture of you in his room. I see it all the time."

I tried to hide the surprise. Did that mean he still gave a damn? How did Kathy feel about a picture of me in the same room she shared with her husband? Or perhaps, it dawned on me, they no longer shared a room at all. I hated the hope that flooded through me at that very thought.

Eli was still watching me, waiting for me to say something. "Your dad and I used to work together. We were best friends." I had no idea what possessed me to say that, and I regretted it immediately. Maybe Elliot didn't want to be reminded of the past.

Finally, I felt brave enough to look at him. His eyes were that perfect shade of blue, so beautiful that I could get lost in them for hours. I had always been afraid that my own gaze would give me away, that he would somehow see right through me and know just how deep my feelings for him ran.

"How are you?" he asked.

I held Noah close, reminding myself what got me out of bed in the mornings. "I'm good. You?"

"Good." I could tell he was lying. There was something dark about his eyes. He titled his head in gesture. "You have a kid."

"Yeah. Noah."

"He's cute. Looks like you."

I laughed. Would he still say that if I told him he wasn't biologically my son? I didn't bother explaining myself.

"You married?"

The question threw me for a moment and I didn't know what to say. I guess it wasn't such a dumb question considering I was nursing a child. But I would have expected more from the man who had been my partner for 12 years. The only man I loved enough to marry, would have been him. But he'd never asked me.

I ignored the question. "How's Kathy?'

"I don't know," he said. "I haven't seen her in two years."

I blushed, unable to give him a proper reply. "Oh."

I sat awkwardly staring at him, not sure what else to do and then the doctor called for me.

"Noah Elliot Benson."

Damn it. Why had he used his middle name? There was no way I could talk myself out of this. Elliot had heard me. He smiled, a look of smug arrogance etched across his face. God, I had missed that look. I missed everything about him. I had to get out of there before I fell back into old patterns. Being around him would only cause a setback and I had Noah to think of now.

"I have to go," I said nervously.

"Ok."

I rose from the chair, baby Noah tucked safely in my arms. I took one final look at him, wishing there was some way to fix what had been broken between us. I followed the doctor into his office and once the door was closed behind me, I let a single tear roll down my face.

I was not ready for Elliot Stabler to come waltzing back into my life.

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter too. Hit the review button and let me know if you want me to add a third.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is the LAST chapter. Thanks for the support. Enjoy!**

**Olivia's POV again.**

I was relieved when I came out of the doctor's office to see that Elliot Stabler was no longer in the waiting room. I juggled Noah and the baby bag and made my way out of the building. I almost had a heart attack when I bumped into someone just outside the door. I dropped the baby bag, my grip on Noah tight and secure.

"I'm sorry. I-" I looked up and saw Elliot and his son standing there.

"Sorry," he said.

My stomach exploded into undoubting knots. Eli reached down and retrieved the baby bag from the ground. He handed it to me. "Thanks," I smiled.

"Eli and I were going to stop at the café up there," Elliot gestured ahead. "You wanna join us?"

I stood staring at him for a moment. How could I explain to him that being near him would cause me a kind of pain that was all consuming? A pain that had taken me years to wade through. I couldn't afford to have coffee with him.

The silence lingered thick in the air around us.

"Yeah. Let's just forget it."

"Why, Dad?"

"Liv has some place she needs to be."

The way he said it with such arrogance made me want to do the opposite. I knew that my heart was at stake and that Noah needed me more than my own heart did, but I still allowed him to manipulate me. I could see that he was looking for a way to make me feel as if I was the one in control and it worked.

"I can spare a few minutes," I said, taking a step toward the café.

Elliot smiled to himself and the three of us made our way passed the buildings. At the café, we all picked the seat by the window and sat down. Elliot handed me a menu and I glanced at it, feeling his eyes searching my face. I tried not to react. This was the man I had loved for 12 years. A man who had been my longest relationship in life. I had attempted to move on after he left. I had tried to find a way to be myself without him and I felt I had changed in some ways, for the better. I became stronger because I was no longer relying on him for strength, and although it wasn't without its challenges, I had made progress.

Now as I sat across from him, I realised just how lost I had been without him. This man was my _everything_. My soulmate. I was better with him than without him.

I sighed deeply and looked up to meet his gaze.

For a moment we just locked eyes, and the memories of our past came to mind. All the times we'd fought and laughed and cried and screamed, each memory stronger than the last. I loved this man with everything I had. I had always loved him and I knew I always would.

It scared me to death.

Elliot broke eye contact and turned to his son. He pulled out his wallet and handed him some cash. "Listen, buddy, go get yourself an ice-cream. I need to speak to Olivia."

I began to tremble. What couldn't he say to me in front of his eight year old son?

I looked down at my napkin too afraid to meet his eyes again.

"Liv..." he whispered.

I kept my focus firmly on the pattern embossed on the tissue paper.

"Look at me," he said almost pleadingly.

I felt my eyes sting with tears and I looked up, blinking them away. "El... _please_." This was the first time in five years I felt like a measure of the person I used to be, the person I had missed.

"I know I hurt you," he said quietly, leaning across the table to take hold of my hand. I trembled more violently at his touch, at the way my heart responded to this, to _him_. "I know that I have made mistakes in the past, but being near you, Liv... I feel so alive."

This was the same conversation I had dreamt of for 12 years. He was admitting that his feelings for me ran deep, I could see it in his eyes. He mirrored my own feelings and emotions. I loved him so much it hurt. It was overwhelming. I wanted to run but my feet wouldn't move. I was bound to him as if by iron chains.

"Me too," I whispered.

I could tell by the way he watched me that he was hoping for that answer.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

We stood nervously in his bedroom, not more than two days later, a fistful of his shirt material in my hand and his eyes locked on mine. "I dreamt of this for years. You and me. This..."

He tensed under my touch and my hold on him loosened only slightly. I could feel the heat from his chest and I smiled as I realised for the first time, just how much my close proximity affected his physical response. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. Wholly. Completely. Deeply.

"Are you sure about this," he sighed, evidently fighting his own losing battle.

I bit my lip nervously as I played with the hem of his t-shirt, curling it under my fingers as I slowly lifted it up exposing his bare chest. Oh heavens, he was built like a Greek God. I could barely contain myself.

"I don't want to go too fast and scare..." his sentence was left unfinished as his hands ran the length of my hip. I pressed against him. Hard, and easily peeled it from his body, discarding it on the floor beneath us.

Elliot made no objections as I lay my hands flat on his upper torso, gently raking my fingers across his smooth bare chest. It felt so natural, like I had been doing it all my life. Him. Me. Us. His eyes never left mine as I snaked my arms around his neck, drawing him ever closer. I allowed a new memory and a new love envelope me in an all-consuming way.

This was love. This was real. This was us.

The life I had longed for was finally here and I knew there was no walking away from it this time.

**A/N: I hope this gives everybody their happy ending. Thank you everybody for alerting and favourite-ing this story. I appreciate your support more than words can say. THANK YOU. Please leave a review, I'd love to know what you thought. **


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